Monday, February 2, 2009

20 Chuck Norris Facts

  1. Chuck Norris burns ants with a magnifying glass....at night....
  2. If you spell Chuck Norris in a Scrabble game, you automatically win....forever.
  3. Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.
  4. Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter!!!
  5. There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer...Chuck Norris is always in control.
  6. Chuck Norris's tears can cure cancer...too bad Chuck Norris has never cried...
  7. If Chuck Norris has five dollars and you have five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
  8. Chuck Norris has a phone book, but he calls it a list of people he allows to live.
  9. Chuck Norris counted to infinity....twice.....
  10. Outer space exists only because it's afraid to be on the same planet as Chuck Norris.
  11. Chuck Norris doesn't do push ups, he does earth downs.
  12. Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
  13. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
  14. Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death, he beats it fair and square!
  15. Chuck Norris can do a Wheelie on a Unicycle!
  16. Once, a cobra bit Chuck Norris. After 5 days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
  17. Chuck Norris doesn't read books....he stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
  18. Chuck Norris won’t ever get a heart attack, because a heart knows better than to attack Chuck Norris.
  19. Superman wears Chuck Norris underwear.
  20. When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn’t get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.

2 comments:

Treble Clef said...

Ha, ha! We like Chuck Norris jokes too...

Cookie Doe said...

Since when did Chuck Norris become the enemy??? "Walker, Texas Ranger" rules!!!